Where were you?
by je-suis-a-toi
Summary: Jack needs The Doctor to fix his mistakes. *Spoilers for episodes 4&5 of Children of the Earth.* Rated mostly for language and the events from the episodes.


**A/N**

_So basically, I just wrote this because I didn't quite agree with the ending of _Children of the Earth_. It's short and I wrote it quite fast but I figured what the hell, I might as well publish it._

* * *

><p>"No! No I'm not losing you like this!" Jack gasped as he hugged Ianto's body to his own. He took a deep breath of the poisoned air before hauling Ianto into his arms and stumbling his way out the door. The added weight mixed with the toxic atoms he was breathing into his body was making Jack increasingly less aware of his surroundings as he found his way into the room at the end of the hall. He ignored the man lying dead next to the hazard suit and quickly stuffed Ianto into it, hoping, praying,<em> needing<em> him to survive this. As soon as he had the suit zippered and secure Jack collapsed against a cabinet, gasping as he was overcome with the feeling of being choked. He grabbed at his throat and coughed, before collapsing onto his side and passing out seconds before his heart gave out.

* * *

><p>Jack woke with the same, gasping breath as always and he immediately felt the hole reappear in his chest as he saw Gwen crouching just a few feet away, shaking silently over a body. He knew, without even looking that it was Ianto. It seemed like only moments earlier Ianto had whispered that he loved Jack as they climbed into bed for the night. But that had all changed; everything had changed in the last two days. Jack had changed. He didn't know what to do anymore, he felt lost, and sick and disgusting. He had done this, he had killed Ianto, killed all these people that lay on the floor around him. He picked his hand up and laid it on her shoulder, giving a squeeze of comfort as tears leaked out of his eyes once more.<p>

"Oh Jack, we can't do anything for him. We can't even freeze his-" A choked sob cut off Gwen's sentence and Jack stood up, pulling her along with him and caught her in the tightest hug he could manage without breaking anything.

"I know," he breathed into her hair as he shut his eyes, refusing to look at Ianto's cold, blue face. Jack wished nothing more than to switch positions with him then. He felt like grabbing the nearest gun and shooting himself in the head and praying his curse left him. He hadn't dealt with Owen's death the first time, he had refused to and the second time had been torture when he had no choice but to accept it. And after he destroyed the glove there was no way to bring Toshiko back and he had dealt with that. But Jack didn't think he had it in him to deal with Ianto not lying next to him every night, not being able to kiss his neck and feel Ianto burrow into his side while he was sleeping. He would never be able to drink coffee without thinking of Ianto obsessing over how messy Jack had let the Hub get before he had been hired. He'd never be able to look at Gwen without remembering the countless times she had caught them messing around when they thought everyone else was at home. He could never forget the curve of his back, or the shaky breath he took every time Jack touched him in just the right place. He could never forget anything about Ianto.

Jack continued to break with every step he took away from the young man. Every thought he had was half a memory of Ianto and half of what he was supposed to be focusing on. When he was told his daughter and grandson were allowed to go free he was full of momentary relief before arranging for Gwen to leave. He couldn't bear to look at her anymore. Partly because he was ashamed and partly because it hurt to remember. Almost every memory of Gwen involved Ianto, Owen, or Tosh. God, it hurt to even think the names.

"Make sure Ianto's niece and nephew are safe, please." He whispered into Gwen's ear as he hugged her just before she and Rhys climbed onto the helicopter that would take them back to Cardiff. She nodded and kissed his cheek before climbing aboard after Rhys.

Jack willingly let them take him into the cell and only allowed a few tears to escape as he ignored Lois' calls to him from the next one over. A bang, followed by yelling startled Jack out of his memories and he ran to the little window his cell door allowed. The men rushed in and grabbed him by his arms, dragging him out and into a car as Lois' calls echoed around.

He allowed himself to smile as Steven ran up to his "Uncle Jack" and told him to go back to his mother as he was brought down the corridor into another room. His daughter gave him a small smile and nodded at him as he was brought past her.

* * *

><p>"You know what this means, don't you Jack?" Jack set his jaw and ignored the question as he kept typing.<p>

"What do you mean?" Alice looked back and forth between the two men. "Dad, what does he mean? What does it mean? You can stop it, so just do whatever you need to." Jack shut his eyes and refused to look her in the eye.

"It means..." Jack opened his eyes back up, still refusing to look at her and continued typing as one of the soldiers explained. "That we're in need of a child. And that child will have to die in order for this to stop."

"What?" Alice looked back at Jack, confused. "What-" She stopped mid-question and stared at her father in shock. "No! No, Dad you can't let them do that!" Jack stopped typing and took a deep breath. "Dad... Dad no! DAD!" He tried to focus just on his breathing as he gave a short nod in the soldier's direction as his daughter screamed at him. Alice bolted for the door, searching desperately for her son. She blinked away tears as she tore down the hallways, screaming Steven's name countless times as he was being brought into Jack.

"Uncle Jack, what's going on? Is this a new game?" Jack took a shaky breath as he ignored his grandson's questions and allowed them to set him onto the platform as he began typing yet again. He heard slamming on the door behind his back and Alice's muffled screams immediately followed. "Uncle Jack what-" Steven's question was drowned out by immediate silence as Jack managed to connect him to the 456. Suddenly Steven's mouth opened and as an endless scream fell from his lips blood began slowly trickling from his ears and nose.

And then it all stopped and Steven fell to the ground, eyes wide open like he'd seen a ghost.

Alice was let back into the room and Jack felt a rush of air as she ran past him to her fallen son.

"No! Oh God, no! Help, someone help me! PLEASE!" Alice's sobs echoed around the large room and Jack refused to let himself look away from the murder he had committed as tears slid down his cheeks. He knew that in saving millions he had lost one of the two reasons he had left to live for. He had lost his daughter and that knowledge would never fade from his mind. And so Jack forced himself to stand there and watch her scream and cry until eventually someone came over and told her they would need to remove the body from the scene. Alice refused to let anyone else touch Steven and so she carried him away, not even glancing in Jack's direction.

* * *

><p>"Couldn't have just chosen a bloody pub, could ya?" Gwen grinned at Jack and he smiled back, and tried not to look at her stomach as thoughts of Alice and Steven came flooding into the forefront of his mind. He watched as Gwen's smile slipped from her face as he explained he wasn't coming back. "Jack you can't just run away from your problems. You can't just run away and leave all of us down here!" Jack felt tears forming in the back of his eyes as he pressed some buttons on his wrist strap.<p>

"Watch me." He whispered right as he felt himself starting to fade into the sky.

* * *

><p>Jack was beyond angry. He had spent so many hours those few months back just wishing that the Doctor would decide to visit Cardiff that day. He had expected that brilliant man to have heard something about it. And now he just pops up on a space bar in the middle of Venus, grinning-with a new mouth, none the less-at the Captain and ordering a drink.<p>

"So, how's my favourite Captain been since...well since Rose, Donna oh and Martha and Sarah Jane of course," The Doctor smiled sadly, "and the Daleks I guess. Anyway! Been keeping busy? I've been doing _loads _of stuff. Saved the Ood a couple more times amongst a few other species. Although not you humans, eh? You guys have been doing quite well lately. I guess you rebuilding Torchwood turned out to be a good thing after all then, eh? Speaking of why are you here and not at Torchwood right now? That confident that aliens are just not going to be there for a few days?" The insanely brilliant man babbled on with that ludicrous grin on his face, and Jack slammed his bottle down before stalking out of the bar.

"Jack what's wrong?" Jack recognized that tone. That gentle tone that meant The Doctor has finally paid attention to Jack's demeanour and realized he was not his usual, flirtatious self. Jack sighed and shook his head, willing himself to stay calm and not blow up at the precious man standing not a foot behind him. "Jack talk to me, please." That's all it took to set him off, those five simple words that Ianto's mouth had repeated countless times while they were in the small bed inside the Hub after Jack had yet again woke up screaming from dreams of memories not fantasies.

"YOU! You are my problem, Doctor. You weren't there; you haven't been there for months, years even! And yet you can stride in here perfectly fine, not even hearing about what's been going on!" Jack yelled, whirling around to face the shocked man. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH?" Jack felt the angry tears stream down his face as he shoved the Time Lord backwards, praying that the man would snap and shove him right back, beat him senseless until he couldn't feel anymore because that was all Jack wanted these days. He had lost count of how many times he had gotten himself killed in the last few months. "I WAITED FOR YOU, I WAITED FOR YOU TO COME AND SAVE THE DAY LIKE YOU ALWAYS USED TO! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHERE **THE FUCK** HAVE YOU BEEN?" The Time Lord gaped at Jack before grabbing his arms and pulling him into his arms.

"Jack, oh my dear Jack. I had no idea you needed me. Shhh, it's alright, you're alright now." Jack could have sworn he heard The Doctor's voice break at one point. He felt himself being led somewhere and was soon in the familiar console room of his old home. Jack didn't bother asking what The Doctor was doing at the screen on his console, he just let himself cry and remember everything he had been trying so desperately to block out. Jack could vaguely hear the screams coming from the screen The Doctor had been staring at for the past fifteen minutes and without thinking he grabbed his pistol, pointed it at the bottom of his chin and willed himself to never wake up as he pulled the trigger.

Jack awoke with the same breath he always did. "Fuck," He almost sobbed as he felt his head where the wound from the bullet should have been.

"I'm sorry Jack. I should've been there, I should've known, I should...I-" The Doctor stuttered as he sat next to Jack on the glass floor of the console room, where all traces of blood had been washed away except for the dried blood under Jack's chin and on the top of his head. "I'm going to fix it." The Doctor said in that tone that Jack knew meant The Doctor wasn't to be challenged at this very moment, not the Jack was about to object.

"The human race should have never had to make those decisions...you...you brave, oh so brave man. You should have never have been put in that position. But you always do the right thing, even when that thing is the hardest in the world. That is why I love you, Captain Jack Harkness and you will always be welcome back into your old room here. She kept it, just so you know. Just the way you left it those many years ago, she always leaves them the same way they were left." Jack swallowed and nodded, silently thanking him. "It's still in this same corridor too...you know if you wanted a kip while I go..." The Doctor didn't finish his sentence and Jack didn't need him to, knowing that was a nice way of telling Jack he couldn't leave the TARDIS while The Doctor fixed this because he'd see himself and probably fuck up the time stream forever by doing something stupid. He nodded in The Doctor's direction and made the familiar trek to his old bed.

"Is that a new swimming pool?" Jack called back as he passed the pool room, peering in through the window. The Doctor popped his head around the corner, grinning.

"There's a giant squid in there right now, if you'd like to make a new friend." Jack snorted and turned back to the path to his room.

"Maybe another time," he called as the TARDIS made the oh-so familiar noise that signified she was off on another journey.

Jack walked into his room and noticed immediately that it still smelled the same. He smiled sadly and patted the wall of his room. "I did miss you old girl." The wall hummed, happily under his hand and he managed a small laugh. He went and took a quick shower to wash off the traces of blood before collapsing into his bed.

* * *

><p>Jack huffed as he turned over in his sleep, immediately his face smashed into someone else's and they both woke with a start.<p>

"Ow! Bloody hell Jack watch where you roll over, you're going to break my nose one of these times!" Ianto shook his head and rubbed his face as he sat up in the dark of Jack's room at the Hub. Jack paused for a moment before grabbing Ianto roughly and kissing him. "Jack," Ianto's call was muffled by Jack's aggressive lips. "JACK!" He finally was released as Jack laughed and hugged him tightly. "Jack what the hell is going on?"

Jack gripped Ianto's face in his hands and looked into his eyes. "I love you, I love you more than anything and I could never forget you. Not in a thousand year's time, not ever. If you want to be a couple then we can be a couple. Whatever you want, as long as what you want still consists of you being mine." Ianto blinked before smashing his mouth back against Jack's as the tumbled back down into the sheets, grabbing at each part of each other they could get.

* * *

><p>"Are you going to tell them?" The Doctor asked as they had sat in Jack's office, watching Gwen and Ianto laugh over their cups of coffee.<p>

"No, no I don't think I am. Gwen's pregnant and what time I have left with Ianto we can focus on us, not on what had happened." The Doctor nodded and smiled at him. "Thank you, by the way."

"You're always welcome my friend." The Doctor grinned. "So! I must be off; I have a ginger girl and her fiancée to pick up from Peru. I'm still not ginger, have you noticed that? 11 regenerations and _still not ginger!_ Bloody infuriating it is." Jack grinned and got up to hug the Time Lord.

"One question, Doctor." Jack said as they pulled away from each other, "Why do I remember?"

"Ah, was wondering when you were going to ask that. Well, it's a whole bunch of this and a tad bit of that but basically complicated timey wimey stuff that tie into you being immortal. Immortals tend not to forget much, as they have a while to think about it all." The Doctor tapped his own, surprisingly large forehead knowingly as he smiled sadly at Jack.

"Right," Jack nodded and clapped The Doctor on the back as they walked out of his office.

"Leaving so soon? Would you like a cup of coffee?" Ianto got up to move to the kitchen but The Doctor held up his hand, smiling knowingly.

"No that won't be necessary; I'm more of a tea man myself. Tea is cool. Coffee...not so cool. Right! Now, must be off, planets to save, things to achieve, people to pick up." He pulled at his bow tie, making sure it was situated right before hugging Ianto and Gwen and popping into his TARDIS.

Fin.


End file.
